Thursday, June 16, 2011

This is my story of my journey through infertility and the amazing things I learned about my faith and God through it.
I have been married for 11 years and struggled with infertility for 10 of those years. 3 years into our marriage my husband and I decided to visit an infertility clinic and see what our options were. After a few rounds of Clomid and some other drugs I had had enough and really felt like I needed to take a break from it all. Shortly into the beginning of that break I became pregnant. So 5 years into our marriage I delivered our first child. We tried from then on to conceive again but it did not happen. Another 3 to 4 years went by and I began to seriously seek God about how He wanted me to fight this infertility. I felt strongly that God was saying the answer was in Him, not in the medical profession. As I began to dig into His word about healing I came across several verses that caused me to question why the body of Christ doesn't see more healings like those recorded in the New Testament. So I began digging further and as I did the Lord opened up the Scriptures to me like never before. I began to get revelation of His Word and began to put into practice many of the things He was showing and teaching me.

As I studied His Word I kept being drawn back to Mark 16:17-20..."And these signs will follow those that believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover. So then, after the Lord had spoken to them, He was received up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God. And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs. Amen."
I wrestled with those scriptures because I do not see these things happening today amongst the majority of those in the body of Christ. As I wrestled with those scriptures He led me to other scriptures such as 1 Peter 2:24, "who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness - by whose stripes you were healed." And Mark 11:23 & 24, "For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."
According to 1 Peter 2:24, Christ healed us, of every sickness or disease we would ever have, when He died upon the cross. So just as I accepted His gift of salvation through that very same death on the cross, I can accept His gift of healing too.
And as Mark 11:23-24 says I need to speak to my mountain. And my mountain was infertility.
These revelations were all new to me. I had never before seen so clearly what these scriptures were saying to all believers. And I certainly had not seen miracles and healings on a consistent basis. So why was I not seeing miracles and healings within the body of Christ and more importantly within my own life? God's Word is full of promises concerning healing and abundant life. So what was blocking the manifestation of healing that had already been provided for me at Christ's death? As I searched my heart I knew that I believed and accepted His gift of healing, so belief was not hindering the manifestation of healing. But I began to see that I had doubt that I would see the manifestation in my own life. And according to Mark 11:23 if you have doubt in your heart you will not see that mountain removed.
So I began to apply Romans 12:2, " not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I began transforming my mind by immersing myself in God's Word and applying what it says. This is how I began rooting out that doubt. James 1:6-8 says, "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."
According to God's Word, if we doubt it cancels out what we are asking for. When we doubt we are not exercising our faith. When we ask in faith we are believing that what God says in His Word is true and are asking knowing that we will have what we ask as long as what we are asking for is His will for us (1 John 5:14). And His Word is clear that it is His will for me to have children (Psalm 113:9; Psalm 127:3-5; Psalm 128:3; Deuteronomy 7:13,14; Exodus 23:26).
I began using the Word to strengthen my faith. As my faith was strengthened my doubt was pushed out. And I became victorious through the Holy Spirit working through me.
One day after, uuuhhmmm, my husband and I had been intimate I was talking with God about my desire to have more children and He spoke to me, in that still small voice, and said apply Mark 11:23 & 24. Speak to your mountain and command it to move! So with boldness of faith I spoke to my body, to my reproductive system and commanded the ovaries and fallopian tubes and uterus and hormones to operate in full health and to create life, in the name of Jesus!
And the most AMAZING thing happened immediately after I spoke that! I literally felt a warmth, a heat, in that area of my body, as if a hand was placed upon there. And I felt a very slight movement deep within that region of my body and I knew that life had just been created within me! At that moment God's Word became more real to me than it ever had been. Not because I felt God working but because I took a HUGE step of faith and put into practice what He had been teaching me.
And God, in His tender loving mercy, chose to allow me to see Him, or rather, feel Him work from the beginning of this child's life. It is still hard for me to put into words what I felt in my heart at that moment.
But what I know is this....that faith exercised without fear or doubt produces the signs and wonders that the New Testament is full of. That God wants us to step out in faith and believe BIG! That we all have our own personal mountains that need moving, but most of us are thinking too small and are settling for WAY less than how God ever intended us to live. God has heaps and heaps of blessings and healings to pour out upon each and every believer if we only apply the TRUTH of His Word by putting aside our fears and doubts and exercise our faith and speak to our mountains!
I pray that, by sharing what God has done in my life, someone out there is encouraged to look deeper in His Word for the AWESOME truths and step out in faith to move their mountain.



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