This is my story of my journey through infertility and the amazing things I learned about my faith and God through it.

I have been married for 11 years and struggled with infertility for 10 of those years. 3 years into our marriage my husband and I decided to visit an infertility clinic and see what our options were. After a few rounds of Clomid and some other drugs I had had enough and really felt like I needed to take a break from it all. Shortly into the beginning of that break I became pregnant. So 5 years into our marriage I delivered our first child. We tried from then on to conceive again but it did not happen. Another 3 to 4 years went by and I began to seriously seek God about how He wanted me to fight this infertility. I felt strongly that God was saying the answer was in Him, not in the medical profession. As I began to dig into His word about healing I came across several verses that caused me to question why the body of Christ doesn't see more healings like those recorded in the New Testament. So I began digging further and as I did the Lord opened up the Scriptures to me like never before. I began to get revelation of His Word and began to put into practice many of the things He was showing and teaching me.

As I studied His Word I kept being drawn back to Mark 16:17-20..."And these signs will follow those that believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover. So then, after the Lord had spoken to them, He was received up into heaven, and sat down at the right hand of God. And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word through the accompanying signs. Amen."

I wrestled with those scriptures because I do not see these things happening today amongst the majority of those in the body of Christ. As I wrestled with those scriptures He led me to other scriptures such as 1 Peter 2:24, "who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness - by whose stripes you were healed." And Mark 11:23 & 24, "For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

According to 1 Peter 2:24, Christ healed us, of every sickness or disease we would ever have, when He died upon the cross. So just as I accepted His gift of salvation through that very same death on the cross, I can accept His gift of healing too.

And as Mark 11:23-24 says I need to speak to my mountain. And my mountain was infertility.

These revelations were all new to me. I had never before seen so clearly what these scriptures were saying to all believers. And I certainly had not seen miracles and healings on a consistent basis. So why was I not seeing miracles and healings within the body of Christ and more importantly within my own life? God's Word is full of promises concerning healing and abundant life. So what was blocking the manifestation of healing that had already been provided for me at Christ's death? As I searched my heart I knew that I believed and accepted His gift of healing, so belief was not hindering the manifestation of healing. But I began to see that I had doubt that I would see the manifestation in my own life. And according to Mark 11:23 if you have doubt in your heart you will not see that mountain removed.

So I began to apply Romans 12:2, "....do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." I began transforming my mind by immersing myself in God's Word and applying what it says. This is how I began rooting out that doubt. James 1:6-8 says, "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways."

According to God's Word, if we doubt it cancels out what we are asking for. When we doubt we are not exercising our faith. When we ask in faith we are believing that what God says in His Word is true and are asking knowing that we will have what we ask as long as what we are asking for is His will for us (1 John 5:14). And His Word is clear that it is His will for me to have children (Psalm 113:9; Psalm 127:3-5; Psalm 128:3; Deuteronomy 7:13,14; Exodus 23:26).

I began using the Word to strengthen my faith. As my faith was strengthened my doubt was pushed out. And I became victorious through the Holy Spirit working through me.

One day after, uuuhhmmm, my husband and I had been intimate I was talking with God about my desire to have more children and He spoke to me, in that still small voice, and said apply Mark 11:23 & 24. Speak to your mountain and command it to move! So with boldness of faith I spoke to my body, to my reproductive system and commanded the ovaries and fallopian tubes and uterus and hormones to operate in full health and to create life, in the name of Jesus!

And the most AMAZING thing happened immediately after I spoke that! I literally felt a warmth, a heat, in that area of my body, as if a hand was placed upon there. And I felt a very slight movement deep within that region of my body and I knew that life had just been created within me! At that moment God's Word became more real to me than it ever had been. Not because I felt God working but because I took a HUGE step of faith and put into practice what He had been teaching me.

And God, in His tender loving mercy, chose to allow me to see Him, or rather, feel Him work from the beginning of this child's life. It is still hard for me to put into words what I felt in my heart at that moment.

But what I know is this....that faith exercised without fear or doubt produces the signs and wonders that the New Testament is full of. That God wants us to step out in faith and believe BIG! That we all have our own personal mountains that need moving, but most of us are thinking too small and are settling for WAY less than how God ever intended us to live. God has heaps and heaps of blessings and healings to pour out upon each and every believer if we only apply the TRUTH of His Word by putting aside our fears and doubts and exercise our faith and speak to our mountains!

I pray that, by sharing what God has done in my life, someone out there is encouraged to look deeper in His Word for the AWESOME truths and step out in faith to move their mountain.

Blessings,

Holly

This song has been on my heart a lot the past 2 weeks. Our Lord delights when we praise Him. Just as we delight in the children in our lives when they do something that warms our heart and blesses us, He too loves it when we lift our hands and voices and hearts in adoration to Him. I have been listening and singing to this when I am driving and have found myself lifting my hands in worship....one hand at a time that is! I prefer to drive cautiously! And then at home have been listening on Pandora and found myself breaking into worshipful dance before Him. There is nothing better than worshipping and allowing the Holy Spirit to direct it in dance and the lifting of hands. It is so freeing!

And my girls LOVE to dance and worship with me! Abigail LOVES it! She is calmed and soothed by it! And it provides a bonding experience that is so precious and beautiful. So take a little time to listen to the song and be blessed. Allow the Holy Spirit to take you to a place of intimate worship with your Lord and Saviour!

I'm Alive and well !!!

Yes, I am still here. I know it has been a while since I last blogged, but I have been a tad bit busy...ok, more than a tad, I have been CRAZY busy. Somehow I thought having a 2nd child would not be that big of a change. I told myself, "you already have one and you manage quite well, adding another one will be a piece of cake. Yeah, you will be busier but you will handle it well."

Well, I am here to say it has been WAY harder than I ever imagined! I don't know if it is the fact that there are 6 years between my 1st and the 2nd therefore I feel like I am starting over again. Or if it is simply the fact that it is a huge change to go from one to two, or whether it is a little of both. But it has been HARD!

Abigail is now 5 months old and I finally feel like I am in a place where I can breath normally instead of feeling like I am running a race to get it all done. I am settling in to this babyhood thing again...getting used to the crying, to getting up at least once if not twice a night, getting no more than 6 straight hours of sleep, to doing an extra 3 to 4 loads of laundry per week......

So that is what I have been doing these past several months. And recently I have started to implement a schedule around here for the entire family, every family member having their own daily schedule. It has not been fully implemented yet but so far it is going well and we are accomplishing much more than we ever have. Which brings me to this blog. I have scheduled in to blog on a more regular basis. Maybe not daily but definitely a lot more than I have in the past. And I am changing what I will be blogging about. Before it was mainly photography oriented but since my priorities have changed in the past 2 years photography has moved low on the list, at least for now. From now on I will be blogging about what the Lord lays upon my heart to share with you all. Whether that be what He has been teaching me or sharing a recipe or money saving idea, child training encouragement, homeschooling idea or something funny that happened recently, it will be a mix of my life and what I feel He is impressing upon me to share. So stay tuned to see what He has in store!

She has a this new thing with making houses and beds under tables. So she made herself a cozy little house under the table in the corner up against the chimney and the open door. She was busy playing and talking to herself when all of a sudden I noticed that there was complete silence from the dining room. So I went to investigate and found this....i couldn't resist snagging a photo of my sleeping beauty. She looks so innocent and angelic when she is asleep!

photo challenge

A very dear friend of mine started a 90 day photo project challenge and since I have gotten out of the photography mode these past few months I decided this would be the kick in the pants that I needed to get back into the "mode".

I am getting in at Day 2 and I may not post every day but am going to post as much as possible.

5.20.2010

I can't believe that my beautiful daughter turned 6 last week!!! The time has literally flown by!!!!

a whole lotta excitement!!

You think you've had a bad day ! How would you like to be the guy in this machine ?!

They have been demolishing the house across the street from us today. It was quite something to see them rip away at it and then to see the last part holding it all together go and the entire roof and sides come crashing down all at once! Kind of sad to see someone tear down a perfectly good house..... a house that probably took a crew of skilled homebuilders a good part of a year to build and that can be demolished in a matter of 3 hours.

The gas station across the street owns this house and lot. It will be interesting to see what they plan to do with the space now. Quite busy around here!!

Think on this

Then Jesus said to them, "As you go throughout the world, proclaim the Good News to all creation. Whoever trusts and is immersed will be saved; whoever does not trust will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who do trust: in My name they will drive out demons, speak with new tongues, not be injured if they handle snakes or drink poison, and heal the sick by laying hands on them.

Mark 16:15-18

Have you ever stopped and thought, I mean really thought on this verse?

Have you ever asked yourself, "why don't we see and experience these things today in our relationship with Christ and in the body of believers that we worship with on a weekly basis?

I was reading this passage of Scripture this past Easter Sunday, pondering what Christ went through and gave for me there upon that cross. And God spoke to my heart and said, this is what my children, you and I, those of us who are in fellowship with Christ, should be doing still today. These scriptures were not just for "back then" they are still very relevant for us today!

why do we not see these signs today? It says here that "these signs will accompany those who do trust". Could it be possible that we say we trust but don't really, fully trust in the full sense of the word? I believe so! How many times have you heard someone say, " I am going through a really hard time right now, but I am trusting God that it is all going to come out okay in the end", but will you pray for me because I am really struggling with worry over this"? Stop and think about that for a moment. Haven't they just contradicted themselves? According to God's Word, yes they have! For if they were trusting they would not be worried!

I believe the reason we don't see these things happening today in our own lives and the lives of others around us is that we don't really trust God. We don't take what He says and believe it is for us and that we have the power through His Holy Spirit to make these things happen!

I believe the reason we don't trust is that we don't take the time to really get to know who God is. Think about this...when you were dating your spouse did you study them and find out what they liked and disliked? Did you make it a priority to know who they are? Most of us would say yes! That is exactly what we should be doing with God. He has provided His Word as our way of knowing who He is. But in order for us to do that we need to be really studying it, as much as we can!

I challenge you today to start digging into the Scriptures with the prayer of your heart being, "Lord, reveal to me who you are as I study your Word. Show me more of you so that I may come into the full knowledge of you and be able to honestly say that I trust you in all things."